The subject of today was feeling sexy in my injured body. I don't care what anybody says, one of the worst parts of being "down" and not yourself, is the feeling that you're undesirable, not only to others, but yourself.
So one of the biggest reasons for this entire shoot was purely selfish. It had nothing to do with showing or proving anything to anyone.. except myself. As I said in my last post, my knee surgery happened just after a really bad break up. Granted I was the one who left, but it left me feeling unwanted. I realized at that point that I needed to find way more value in my own validation versus that of any outside source, especially not a man. These pictures show a girl that is sexy, powerful, thriving and making the best of every crappy situation this past year has thrown.
Also with having an immobilizing procedure, you don't get to get out and get dressed. The year of 2020 and COVID more than prepped me for that part. It was less depressing, but still not fun. So I put together this shoot if nothing else than to order some cute outfits, get my makeup done, and be in front of a camera where I belong. At one point my photographer said, "Are you sure all these lights aren't too much?" I laughed and just let him know that "this is my element, I was born for this spotlight." The point is the girl I am now, didn't wallow in my sadness, but planned what I needed to do to remind me of my happiness!
Oh and I got this amazing new tattoo...
These shots were so dope because aside from feeling sexy in this swimsuit and accepting these little back rolls...(even though they gotta go)This tattoo was drawn especially for me and has so many different meanings within it. And the lighting captured the hell out of every part.
“Koi fish represent dedication, transformation, power, and luck. Lotus flower is a beautiful type of flower... Bringing these two symbols together they represent further growth, strength and great goals.” The waves are because I’m a true water sign and to signify the waves I’m ready to make on this earth. Down below is the constellation of Pisces and of course the symbol.
Huge shoutout to my artist: Jarael Adams (The Ink Gallery) Buffalo, NY
I got this tattoo as another thing to do to make me feel good. I can't quite explain that one as much, but if you know, you know. Adrenaline, endorphins, pain... feeling something just felt amazing. I sat five hours for this and it was worth every single second.