So today's focus was on dance. I almost feel like I can't find the words because there's so much to say. My first love before anything, and the thing that's been around for me after everything. Check out this sparkle in my eyes just playing around and taking pictures.
Being in the performing arts, people always ask "Why?"
Why do you put yourself through it all?
Why do you keep going through the injuries? Surgeries?
It's simple really... I have NEVER felt a better feeling than being on a stage.
And when I say never, I mean literally never.
Being an artist is not something that you choose... rather it chooses you.
This shoot was me "doing what I could."
Because of the procedures I got done, so many things I wanted and want to be able to do are pretty much impossible. So I stared confidently into the camera and made these terrible lines and "did what I could." When I say lines, I basically mean all those poses you see dancers do, it's so appealing to the eye because of the lines we make with our bodies. Funny, even though I'm not really doing anything, it felt so empowering. And the photos captured just that.
2020 taught me...
Loss. If the year taught me nothing else, definitely loss. All live performance was cancelled almost a year ago now. I've been coping with not being on a stage for all of 2020 due to COVID. Don't get me wrong, it was hard when it was shut down, and it's still hard now. However, I spent all summer flexing my creativity in other ways. For example, my clothing line allows me to create more visual art. Plus having my own studio, I've been able to do as little or as much as I can or want everyday. Those days when I miss it most I can drown out the world with music and movement. I can't move much right now, but being in the studio space, blasting music and just laying on the floor to stretch gives me some much needed solace.
I've found myself figuring out how to "outwit my weaknesses." I can't say enough that I am unapologetically imperfect. I constantly have to find hacks to get through these crazy times and the injury doesn't make it any easier for me. But each day I wake up and choose positivity and strength over everything, with faith that i'll be doing what I love again very soon.